I want to know you because I want to know myself

I want to know you
Because I want to know myself

I ache to feel Your essence, 
Lost child, turning in circles, I ask my Beloved standing beside me:
Who are you? Before he can answer, Who are you really? After he speaks, Who really are you? Still, still, What are you? 
What is It that is beyond the warmth, the vessel of your body? What is behind those eyes, inside those eyes, what is animating the temple of your body?
Give me that eternal warmth and knowing,
I know there is more, I miss it and ache for it, yet I don't even know what it is that I'm searching for!

I look at you with wonder and awe, 
You're ever changing — thoughts darting, habits shifting, voice vibrating, skin shedding, tears and emotions flowing — I can't seem to hold you, to hold onto you, I try but you flow through my fingers like water. 
Beyond your patterns, who are you? What are you really? My attempts are futile, tricks of the mind. 

Let me experience you so that I may experience myself,
Let me unite with you so that through you, I may unite with myself,
Wholeness, wholeness, always there, oh how I easily I forget, bliss in remembrance! 
Why do I search for the water when I am the ocean, for the wind when I am the space?
For the seen when I am the seer and the seeing.
Why this feeling of sweet melancholy and joy, of bliss in knowing and sadness in being apart -
it’s pulling on my heartstrings, it’s pulling my heartstrings,

I am on the edge, the edge of this skipping rock,
Please, oh please, skip me over the waters so I may be lost in your space,
in the movement and swirling and hitting, 
let the wind, the force, the water take me, 
of forgetting this mind, this mind! which holds me from you.

Of this idea of you which keeps me from you, 
please take it, take it, take it. 

*2016