There is no bottom to this ocean

There is no bottom to this ocean
Words come from emotion, from heart,
Fascination with the right syllables, rhymes - words themselves are useless!
It is like trying to create something edible with straw,
the water and fruits are not from a real source,
Causing indigestion

I thought I knew what unconditional love was
Looking and embracing myself in the mirror, body and soul,

No, further down,
I thought I knew what unconditional self love was -
sun on my face, never feeling so whole, complete, and sufficient in my life.
Fear dissipating without trying, nothing to lose -
There is nothing that I could give you that would make me any less, that would take from me.

Fear falls away like the smoke cloud I created
I surrender to the universe I said
But what is the universe?
In my renewal of intimate relationship with You, breathe
Om Prana
The wordless joy gave me some sense that you are in this life force, this breathe which flows, this existence,
How could this Allness be described with words or form? It is ridiculous yet the lover out of yearning tries
I knew I could surrender, again the mind
But who was I surrendering to? Where are You?
My mind continued to torture through the painting of my many deaths to finally experience you

Suddenly in the Emptiness of Rumis poems,
I realized the thin veil
The illusion I created
Such a complex spider web
Yet it is nothing, and like a wisp once seen,

it dissipates, solid to nothingness, just like that
Just like that
Everything can shift and happen and be and unite
Just like that

Just be open.

*2016